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Gary Coleman (though we still like to call him Arnold) was arrested this weekend for murdering a blind child then stuffing her body in a drainage pipe where she was then eaten by coyotes. J/K! He was just arrested on a warrant stemming from a prior domestic assault charge. Anyway, look at his adorable face. Don't you just want to squeeze it and compare it to cute stuff, like, I don't know, dogs or something!

Celebrities make lots of money by making commercials outside the United States. They also make themselves look like idiots. Tumor!
Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger play Halo 2, and then be so annoyed you throw your Xbox out the window.