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Chuck McCarthy Author Image

The Apple Tablet Will Probably Make Celebrities More Annoying

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 26 2010, 2:33 PM


I have heard so much about the new Mac Tablet that I almost want to get one myself... even though they supposedly don't exist, and if they do, no one has ever seen one, besides Willy Wonka... uhh, I mean Steve Jobs and his Oompa-Loompas.

So much speculation has gone into what these magical tablets are going to look like and what they are going to do, and yet no one has thought about how these new devices are going to affect the way we see celebrities.

Lucky for you guys, I know a thing or two about magic too, Photoshop magic. Using my Photoshop magic I was able to whip up some images of what we all have to look forward to from some of your favorite celebs once the Mac Tablet flies into Apple stores via the glass elevator.

Before the Mac Tablet, Victoria Beckham's son had to use his drawing pad to cover his mum's face from the paparazzi, but with the Mac Tablet, he won't have to worry about messing up his drawings.

Before the Mac Tablet, Lindsay Lohan's life was spiraling out of control, and she had to cover her face with tie-died clutch handbags, but the Mac Tablet is going to change all that. By the time the Mac Tablet hits stores, no one will even want to take pictures of her.

Before the Mac Tablet, Pete Wentz was kind of a playful d-bag. When the Mac Tablet comes out, Ashley Simpson still won't be able to sing, but he will be an even more playful d-bag, even more overly impressed by his own cleverness and long eyelashes.

P.S. - Expect someone like Rob Zombie or Robin Williams to show up on the VMA's dressed like Moses and carrying two Mac Tablets with the twelve commandments (possibly of rock and roll). Trust me. 

Sincerely,

Charles McCarthy
IdeasbyChuck.com

 
LG Staff Author Image

This Fat Ginger Has A Soul, Okay?

By: LG Staff
January 19 2010, 3:18 PM


Hey, you. Stop making fun of redheads. They are people, too. Annoying, fat, ugly and very ugly people.

 

 
Chuck McCarthy Author Image

Only Sometimes I Want To Meet Celebrities

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 18 2010, 8:03 AM


Very rarely do I ever have any serious desire to meet celebrities. This is partly because, like I pointed out before, I am pretty out of touch with pop culture, and partly because I have met a bunch of celebrities. Most of the time, they are very disappointing - douches.

Sitting here in my coffice (coffee shop + office) next to the Gaming Club (they play board games here twice a week) I don't feel too Hollywood, though I guess I am... since I live in Hollywood. But, I didn't move out here because it was my dream to hang out with Paris Hilton or pal around with Wilmer "Yo Mama" Valderama. These Gaming Club guys can get a little rowdy, but I can tell you from experience, they are much less annoying to be in the same room with than the Valderama.

This said, I have to admit that every once in a while I hear enough about a famous person that I actually want to meet them, to see what they are really like.

I have been feeling this way about Lady Gaga for a while now for a couple of reasons. First, she kind of reminds me of my week long high school ex-girlfriend Larkin Grimm (a weirdo musician in her own right) and a couple of other girl friends (friends that are girls). This feeling of familiarity is all about her general craziness and desire to dress to impress or offend. Second, she kind of looks like my old boss Suzie from Liberty Curio, a junk shop that I worked at selling junk on Ebay and Craigslist.

Recently (30 minutes ago after I read her Wikipedia entry), I started to feel a desire to meet Ke$ha too. I don't know how much of her Wikipedia entry is true, but she had me at "breaking into Prince's house." Anyone crazy enough to enter Prince's domain uninvited... wow. Throwing up in Paris Hilton's closet is pretty cool too. Plus, she is hot, really hot, and like me and Lady Gaga, she likes to hang out in her undies.


I know I said I don't like blondes in my post about Chuckota (super celebrity couple Chuck McCarthy and Dakota Fanning), but I am pretty sure that neither Ke$ha nor Lady Gaga are real blondes. Moreover, I just want to meet them, get to know them. Dating is a long way down the road. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I might hate both of them in real life.

Anyway, I decided that I am going to try to meet and hang out with Lady Gaga and Ke$ha. This is where living in Hollywood comes in handy. I am fairly confident that I can track them down. Los Angeles is big, but not that big.

I already found both of their Myspace profiles, and friended them. I hope they accept. Lady Gaga was online when I sent her the request, so maybe she will get back to me soon!


Let me know if you have any advice... or if you are Ke$ha or Lady Gaga, let's hang.

 
LG Staff Author Image

Just A Little Programming Note

By: LG Staff
December 28 2009, 12:53 PM

(Be safe this New Year)

Things are going to be a little slow around here till the end of the New Year until we're done drinking and being annoyed by our families. So you might as well take a look through our archives, play some old games, watch some cartoons and generally reflect on the decade through what we made for you. We've covered it all -- Britney, Tom Cruise, Lindsay Lohan, Britney and Britney and Britney and Britney and Britney. Yes, we've basically just made from of Britney this decade. But it was fun!

We might periodically update the blog throughout the week if we run into anything exciting, so check back if you're bored or you've run out of alcohol!

 
Slippy Jenkins Author Image

25 Years Of Oprah Screaming Celebrity Names

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 23 2009, 10:34 AM

 

We can all agree that punching a girl in the face is totally unacceptable. But what if that girl was excruciatingly annoying, gave birth to Dr. Phil and her name was Oprah? Would it be okay then? No, it wouldn't be. But after watching this video of Oprah screaming celebrity names for 25 years, we'd totally understand how somebody would want to kick the living crap out of their Oprah-playing television sets and then throw themselves off the nearest building, killing themselves and hopefully anyone else who saw this thing. Seriously, it's painful. It makes us think that anybody who's watched The Oprah Show for the last 25 years must be devoid of any form of sound judgement, or at least that part of the brain that makes you go, "Oh, CRAZY TRAIN ALERT! **CLICK** It's Maury Povich time."

 

 

 

Yes, we're not going to lie. We're going to go see Twilight just like everybody else is. However, we're buying up the 50 seats surrounding us because we don't want to sit next to the people in the videos below. It's not that we find them so annoying, we just don't want to share our tissues with them!  (Just kidding! (j/k again!) (j/k!) (no really, j/k!)

The Nutty Madam

 

The Chubster Spazzes

Click here to see the rest...

 
 
LG Staff Author Image

It's Point A Gun At Something Adorable Friday!!

By: LG Staff
November 13 2009, 3:04 PM

 

Today it's Point A Gun At Something Adorable Friday, featuring puppies and kitties (or kittehs, for the annoying people who come here). Why do people want to put a gun to faces of their little furry friends? We can only speculate it has something to do with imbreeding. But we're not scientists, so how the hell would we know.

 

A young a-hole in training. (via hangglide)

 

Why do parents buy Crocs for their kids? And why doesn't this dog bite off that little brat's head? (via ChickClick)

 

Crazy eyes and rape face are usually the same thing. (via randy metcalf)

...more pics after the jump....

 

Dude kind of looks like Vince Vaugh's tardy brother. (via castermer)

 

"Deaadd kittteehhhhhh" (via sayzey)

 

At least the blood will look cool on the window. RIGHT, GUYS!?!?! (via misterentropy)

 

Point a gun at anything adorable lately? Be sure to send us a picture: talkbalk@liquidgeneration.com!

 
LG News Bot 3000 Author Image

Please Excuse All The Fail Around Here

By: LG News Bot 3000
November 12 2009, 10:43 AM

 

Launching a new site design is never easy, especially when the office doggy runs around the place trying to lick your toes and pee on your carpeting. It distracts you from doing the things that need to be done on a website, like making it work. But don't worry, we found a pretty cool veterinarian that's willing to put the dog to sleep on the cheap. Once that happens (soon, we hope!), we should have enough time to work out all the kinks on the website, and hopefully you won't run into any errors that are too embarassing.

if you see anything weird/annoying, or just want to say hello, you can email us at talkback@liquidgeneration.com.

In honor of us failing, here's a hot chick who totally can't seem to dance like Tom Cruise a la Risky Business.

 

 

Kill The Kardashians

Kill The Kardashians

Here's your chance to shoot the Kardashians! Why? Because they're annoying. Please note that we don't actually condone violence against. celebrities. This is just a joke. Except for the fact that we really hate the Kardashians.

 

Dancing Weatherman

Dancing Weatherman

Everyone knows being a weatherman is a joke; this guy obviously accepts that.

 

Tyra Banks, Now 100% More Annoying

Tyra Banks, Now 100% More Annoying

100% more Annoying or a 100% Fierce? We'd like to punch her in the face either way - in a total non-wife-beat-y sort of way!

 

Evil Care Bears

Evil Care Bears

Care Bears are cute but very annoying. Simply put, it's time for them to die.

 

Kanye Text Converter

Kanye Text Converter

This little iPhone app will convert your texts into supper annoying Kanye texts.

 

Snipe Drunken Waldo

Snipe Drunken Waldo

Waldo is annoying – and a complete drunk -- that’s why we’ve created a game where you can snipe that bitch where the sun don’t shine.

 

Horrible Peta People Are Ridiculously Hot

Horrible Peta People Are Ridiculously Hot

We all hate PETA because they're just generally horrible and annoying. But if more of them looked like the above, we'd have reason to like them. And then bang them.

 

Perez Hilton vs. Beeker

Perez Hilton vs. Beeker

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

 

Kara DioGuardi and Bikini Girl Should Makeout

Kara DioGuardi and Bikini Girl Should Makeout

Kara, why did you hide what's underneath your clothes throughout the whole season? We find you a lot less annoying and totally pointless now.

 

10 Most Annoying Cartoon Characters

10 Most Annoying Cartoon Characters

Here are some cartoon characters we'd really like to punch in the face.

 

If Hilary Duff Had Boobs

If Hilary Duff Had Boobs

If Hilary Duff had boobs she'd be a lot less annoying and we'd probably really dig her music. This totally fake photo makes us dream things. Yeah, we're shallow.