Here's Paris and Nicole, BFFs since they were wee ones. See, Nicole really IS black!

Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

For whatever reason. Nicole Richie wanted to share her lacey underwear-covered ass to the camera. Sill feels gross.

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

Somehow she's actually made this gesture look even more obscene.

Legally we can't say WHAT that white-ish substance that Nicole appears to be snorting, but I'm calling it out as chaz.

Innocent little Nicole on her U of AZ "Cat Card." Charming!

This used to be Nicole Richie's hero. Then she died.

Nicole got into an accident on the set of a movie she's filming in Los Angeles. The truck towing the Jag she was in took a turn too wide – and slipped on the slippery pavement, hitting a pole.

Watch out! Now that Nicole's off the food wagon, you'd best not get between ol' girl and her salads!

It looks like Nicole Richie's stylist has struck again!

Now I KNOW this has to be a fake photo -- they're BOTH eating, at the same time??

Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI early in the morning of Monday, December 11, 2006. She was booked at 4:50 AM and was released around 7:15 AM. According to the booking sheet, Nicole is 5'1" and 85 lbs.

In this photo released by the Glendale Police Department, Nicole Richie's booking mug shot is seen after her arrest early Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, in Glendale, Calif. California Highway Patrol officers took the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

I don't know what's grosser, that they're cutting her open in front of my eyes, or that she keeps demanding her baby like a junkie demanding heroin. Creepy.

She may style Lindsay and Nicole, but the drapes she has for a face certainly need to be ironed out!

Anna Nicole Smith proves she's the smartest spokesperson alive.

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

Wouldn't it be funny if this was an old picture of Nicole Ritchie? No? Shut up.