Just when you were really getting sick of Simon Cowell making fun of our precious American Idol retards, he throws us this crazy girl from his homeland.

Beckham is doing his best to get Americans to care about soccer. This a start..

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

Stevie the Seal is now available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and birthday parties! Call now for group rates!

Clever kids build a loop-de-loop on a train track... and it works! Of course they aren't American :(

Posh Spice stands over an American flag as the Spice Girls reunite.

Jessica is the world's fattest child – and American. It's bizarre that this news story is done by German television, but it just makes me think of that chocolate-loving foreign exchange student on the Simpsons, and I giggle. P.S., you'll probably recognize her sofa-dance.

Here we can see the audition tape for a young boy practicing for American Idol. He isn't very good, so chances are he will win.

"Britain's Got Talent" is another auditioning show hosted by American Idol's Simon Cowell. He's just found himself the UK's most irresistible little girl.

A stolen Ronald McDonald statue head + hookah parts = phattest American bong ever!

Our interview team invaded the Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration, to ask fans about Star Wars weddings, crazy costumes, and Anakin's cooter.

What would happen if America's Next Top Model did an American Apparel photoshoot with AA's creepy mustachioed founder, Dov Charney? Well someone might DIE.

American Idol Sanjaya has a white mom – and she got busted for weed!

Sanjaya finally got kicked off American Idol, and word in Hollywood is that there were cheers heard from the production studio. Here you see him cry like the little b*tch he is. Enjoy.

Did you see Simon Cowell roll his eyes at Chris Richardson during American Idol? According this video, Simon has a history of being a heartless bastard.

Sanjaya was sadly cut from American Idol this week. A man by the name of Popeye pays tribute to this fallen singer.

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!

Only the gayest American Idol in history could make a girl cry. She's actually just a Kinks fan, upset how badly he's butchering the song.

Don't miss the awkward tension between these two… Simon tells Ryan to come out, and Ryan laughs it off!