Hello and welcome to whose boobs the only on-line game to hi-jack the top five stories of the Boob-itomi towers.

Now that she's been released from prison, Paris is on her way to annoy the hell out of he neighbors in the Hollywood Hills.

Happy Paris was greeted by the press and her family outside Lynwood Correction Facility at her releasal Monday night.

Paris Hilton gets escorted from Lynwood Monday night – a free woman!

Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.

Live Free or Die Hard? It’s the movie title that’s already a who’d you rather.

Seriously, this almost made me puke – she got a maggot on the brain. Parasites are awesome! So's the narrator's voice.

NSFW?? For all you far-reaching pervs and Petra Nemcova fans, here's a shot of her *almost* showing her nipple. Seriously, I've gotten more action off a JC Penney's underwear catalog.

The MTV Movie Awards always prompts some sort of gimmicky hi-jinx. Here's Jessica and Sarah pretending to go all "college-experimental" in front of America.

We almost didn't even recognize her! She looks cute... especially without a bra!

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

For those of you in the know, this is a rare acoustic performance from Dinosaur Jr.'s J Mascis playing the new single from the new record Beyond.

Bill Murray was wasted at this New Orleans bar, and almost got into a fight – until some dude talked him down, and afterwards he bought everybody drinks! What a guy! AWESOME cellphone video!

If you’re saying to yourself right now: “Self, I know I’ve heard this song before but can’t remember where,” chances are you watch a little program called Grey’s Anatomy. Let’s Go Sailing have become a staple on the show with not one or two but three songs receiving placement in those super dramatic almost laughable scenes. I don’t know about the show, but the band is great as evidenced by their stripped down version of the soon to be huge song “Sideways.” Good stuff!

Seriously, some people are desperate for ANYTHING.

This dress looks almost unbelievable because it has the illusion of see-through, and yet it censored her nipples.

Watching people who don't know their own strength will make you cringe. Don't try this at home without steroids.

I don't get it. Is it free to enter, and $5 to leave? WTF?

The "EXIT" characters don't really feel that free when they're done, they're actually leaping away from the cockroaches.

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.