Dead or Alive rocker-turned-plastic tranny freak Pete Burns is suing the plastic surgeon that destroyed his lips in an attempt to correct the over-done airbags that they'd become.

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.

A dead Saddam sings about what the world will be like without him to the tune of Beyonce’s "Irreplaceable." If this doesn’t make you cry over his execution nothing will.

The O.C. is dead. Liquid Generation tries to make sense of a senseless world.

Classic SNL skit where "Tom Brokaw" tapes possible outcomes if Gerald Ford were to die. I personally like the wild dogs attack.

Clean up around the house, gentlemen, or your lady could end up dead.

"How to tell if you have gay hands." I always thought my manicure was the dead giveaway.

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.

In this raptacular video, 50 Cent almost bitch slaps a French dude. Why? Because the French deserve to be slapped.

Watch this kid almost die. Hilarious!

In this edition, we celebrate baseball in all of its almost steroid-free glory.

What if a frozen Jack Dawson came back from the dead and had to live life in the Future!?! Crazy!

It almost looks like their heads are going to spin off their bodies and explode.

Star Jones almost died this week from getting a boob job. In this episode, Philip Norris ponders a world without this very fat lady who annoys the crap out of all of us.

These boobs drink lots and lots of Metamucil.

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

This week Dick Cheney shoots a man, TomKat almost breaks up, and Kid Rock and Scott Stapp touch magic sticks. Disgusting, weird and newsworthy.

This week Britney Spears almost kills her child, the world almost explodes, and other heartbreaking things that make you happy.

Watch what happens when people think a car is going to hit them. Almost dying is hilarious.