O NOES! I'm a gay Mormon pot-head who practices Wicca – I am royally fu©#ed!

Caught On Tape: security camera footage inside a Quiznos. One guy punches out another guy. Apparently his sandwich wasn't toasty enough.

A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns – Planet Unicorn – unicorn planet!

When I first heard of the iUnit, I totally thought it was a Mac-inspired dildo. Boy was I wrong!

What happens when you replace a hallway with a bathroom? Why, hilarity, of course!

Every workplace has one. Who's the slut in your office?

When gimps attack, even the long arm of the law can't save you!!

Nothing says "Hallmark moment" like a little father-son bonding.

Johnny hit the jackpot this summer when he realized he could fill freezer bags with grass-clippings and make a fortune selling weed to Jr. High kids.

"I've Got A Crush on Obama" - This politically-minded hottie has just one candidate on her mind – and she wants to Barack him like a hurricane!

Britney Spears' website is giving fans the chance to name her upcoming album, in exchange for insight into her sick, retarded sense of humor.

I don’t know if he is calling a penalty or doing the YMCA, but whatever it is, it's FABULOUS!

In a dark corner of a strip bar somewhere, Gene Simmons is eating his heart out.

This informative film reel will teach you everything you need to know about the DOs and DO NOT DOs of Sexual Harassment.

If you squint your eyes just right, he looks just like my grampa. Hi Grampa!!!

Michelle Trachtenberg posed with friends at a Halloween party last year... and DAMN! Now I want to French-kiss Snow White.

At first I thought that guy was a big-baby-dumbass, but then I realized he's just French!

A nice pearl necklace would really finish this piece off, and me as well. Oh my!

These pyrotechnicians are making a wall of fire because they're apparently bored and like to burn things. Sounds like my job!

Trucker speed has its upsides – don't let this happen to you!