Paris gets owned in a really Disco way! Warning: may cause seizures!

When the judge's decision to send Paris back to prison is read, an unseen man cries out in obvious agony. Will celebrity justice never be served??

Sarah Silverman gave the Hilton heiress a good grilling last night at the MTV Movie Awards... Paris was hardly spared, and her face totally shows it! God, I want to hump you, Sarah!

The paps were hot on Paris Hilton's heels yesterday as she drove HERSELF to a lawyer meeting, after previously getting rides from mom Kathy. Paris, you're bad!

Watch a simulation of Paris Hilton's soon-to-come behind-bars sexcapades!

A clearly wasted Lindsay Lohan was caught on tape as she exited a club this past weekend, drunkenly stumbling into her waiting ride. Thank god she's in the passenger seat this time!!

When you're so famous that people hire look-alikes to show up naked at parties... that's pretty darn famous.

Christina Ricci and Justin Timberlake share a SUPER HOT sex scene in Black Snake Moan!!!

Paris partied in Vegas this weekend for her birthday on the 17th. Here's some exclusive footage!

He's the foxiest little double-agent on the planet! It's 00!

Paris side-swiped some garbage cans at the end of her driveway, giving her brand-new $400,000 Bentley a few scratched and a mean dent. Let's see how the heiress reacts!

There's a better use for the "rumble" function on your Wii paddles. It's a marital aid.

Classic SNL skit where "Tom Brokaw" tapes possible outcomes if Gerald Ford were to die. I personally like the wild dogs attack.

An in-depth look at the evolution of sex and boobies in video games. Informative and arousing!

Old people turn off the lights and act like they are having sex. Watch how the marks react!

Weirdly enough, later this night Lindsay went out clubbing with Paris! (Seriously.)

Paris attended the Jay-Z convertin Vegas this weekend, spending most of her time with her BACK to the stage! After his performance, the perpetually self-absorbed heiress jumped on stage and had the DJ play a couple of her songs so she could lip-sync along -- but she puked instead!

It's like Brokeback Mountain, but with cats. Oh, and no gay sex.

This guy thought he could be in Full Metal Jacket. Now he just stars on the internets!!!

If every 12-year-old's fantasy came true like this, we'd have to re-write the pedophilia laws.