Ladies, if you don't want to give your man what he really wants for Valentine's Day (Sex) at least get him a mandle.

Donkey Lips returned full force during a Super Bowl Ad for Amp Energy Drink, his casting tape is more disturbing.

Tonight on Fox News, "Skateboards causing small explosions, is this alternative sport safe for your child? Coming up next after Mass Effect: Sex Party, Special Report."

They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said no, no, no, tape me smoking crack and sell it to the press instead.

Evangeline Lily used to do commercials for a phone-date hotline. It makes unemployed insomniac TV-addicts seem less... desperate. No, not really.

We beer sex pizza mile high nachos this commercial very much.

This commercial is an exact copy of how a 16-year-old boy's mind works; EVERYTHING implies sex.

David Letterman sat down with Paris Hilton and asked her about the only thing he finds interesting in her career, jail time. The results are awkward and priceless.

Are you as revolted by the Meg White Sex Tape as this reporter is? We hope so.

Don't be too quick to assume the Juice has a friend in the nutjob at his lawyer's press conference yesterday. Jimmy Kimmel shows that he loves Paris and MJ too.

Nothing beats asking the weatherman, in his sandals, to help act out sex solicitation before Law & Order can beat you to the punch. Everybody pile on Senator Craig!

This lunatic weirdo works the night shift at a piñata factory, and decided to have his way with one of the candy-filled effigies. Only problem was, there was a security camera on!

LG's got the first footage of the Larry King Live interview with Paris Hilton! Best part: she's naked!

The lies Paris Hilton told Larry King. From the Tonight Show.

Here we can see the audition tape for a young boy practicing for American Idol. He isn't very good, so chances are he will win.

Now that she's been released from prison, Paris is on her way to annoy the hell out of he neighbors in the Hollywood Hills.

Perez has all the gossip and celebrity vagina photos you could desire! Watch his adventures!

What happens when Dwight decides to tape-record an office meeting? Why, sabotage, that's what!

Caught On Tape: security camera footage inside a Quiznos. One guy punches out another guy. Apparently his sandwich wasn't toasty enough.

"Stars Are Blind" remade by a sexy fake-Paris into an "autobiographical" story about going to jail. She gets cozy with the sheriff! Oh yeah!