C is for cookies and cookies are for kids! But only those who like heavy metal. Rock on babies!

Why have kids when you can have a dog and teach it to talk? Dogs are far less messy than kids are.

Fat kid can dance.

Those little rascals get away with everything.

We are insanely jealous of this kid's Christmas Xbox system. We're sure Clark Griswald is jealous, too.

It's like Michael Jackson's was reincarnated into a chubby kid who can't sing. How adorable.

Ugh. We identify too much with this. Too much. We are crying right now. Crying. We hope you, too, can feel his pain if you're not fat. Today, we're all fat kids.

This driver should be celebrated for being the Douchiest Douchebag In The Entire World.

Watching random people get hurt to touching music really makes our day. It's the perfect combination, like peanut butter and chocolate.

Don't laugh. We're all obsessed with Vanessa Hudgens.

When Michael Jackson died, his soul went into this small child. The kid is now a very talented...but hopefully headed down a different path. Say No to Propofol!!!!

That kid could should be sent to slammer for beating his buddy. Or just given the death penalty. Kids just can't get away with this anymore.

Watch this guy beat the crap out of these little kids. Kung Fu really does work!

These girls are going to watch this video in ten years and realize that they were never cute and adorable as a kid, but scary and AXE-murderer-ish.

Kids: Don't try this at home. You will die. This kid didn't die because he's super skinny. Most of you are fat.

We've never liked AC/DC because their fans are totally weird. Case in point, this kid.

Show this to your kids so they don't invest all their Piggy Bank money with a psychopath like Bernie Madoff!

Midgets, or people as tall as midgets, shouldn't be allowed near a dodgeball game.

You'd think getting chips from a vending machine would be easy and safe. Nope.

Strangers are not your friend. To make sure kids know they’re never to talk to strangers, Simon Loki has this instructional video for them to watch.