The state of Nebraska thinks they can protect the gays. We'll see if they're still singing that tune after I put on my Gilligan hat and read some gibberish at them.

Such a badass.

My how you've grown.

My how she's changed.

No, it's my gun.

I wish my life was a Bollywood musical.

This is my fantasy dog. Forget barking during a fire, I don't wanna get my own drinks.

Attempting to hump a desk should automatically be labeled a fail.

As someone who has relied on public transportation, people like this make my day.

This is probably my favorite kiss cam reaction. Completely unexpected and absolutely hilarious.

I would love to have this guy working at my Trader Joe's.

Seriously, that thing's as big as my dog.

You know, I think it's beautiful that people like this find each other. Reaffirms my belief that there is someone out there for each of us.

I want a lion cub of my own...or an ocelot!

Sadly, this is how I spend most of my weekend.

I would kill to have my dog be useful like this.

Of The Pixies song 'Where Is My Mind?'

If Cyndi Lauper started singing 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,' while I was stranded in an Argentinian airport...it'd fix my mood, also.

This is exactly why I cut sugar from my diet.

Every so often, I intentionally don't water my plants. I like to play God and see if I can bring them back to life.