Yes, we're not going to lie. We're going to go see Twilight just like everybody else is. However, we're buying up the 50 seats surrounding us because we don't want to sit next to the people in the videos below. It's not that we find them so annoying, we just don't want to share our tissues with them!  (Just kidding! (j/k again!) (j/k!) (no really, j/k!)

The Nutty Madam

The Chubster Spazzes

Click here to see the rest...

Get close to your computer screen and check out what the hell is happening in this video. Bob Dylan = certifiably donkey bonkers. I'm not sure if he's channelling Tom Petty or he's just a happy-go-lucky albino leprechaun, but this is prolly one of the greatest things ever and I'll cheerish it for as long as it's on YouTube.

In honor of 'New Moon,' we've decided to put together a list that showcases just how sexy vampires can be. Now don't make a mess of yourself.

Helllllo my friends,

Lady Gaga here and I have something extremely important to share with you today...for God and the Gays, for the misfits and the miscreants....for the future and all that we hold true in this world and I just want to thank you, my fans, for being here with me right now. I feel truly blessed and I'm so happy that I get to share with you this moment on this little speck of space on the internet so that you and I can be closer and make this whole thing, this whole shining radiance of magnificient things real and One and at peace for the world. I truly, truly believe this. Be here with me.

I am opening up my sketchbooks here for the first time because I believe we can transcend all the hate in the world just by this tiny act, regardless of whether or not God and Gays get along, or whether or not you believe I have a penis, or whether or not everything that you hold true in this world is negated by everthing that was negated by all the Powers and Purpose from the last time you listened to one of my songs. I don't want to get long winded here, but I just want you to know I hear what you're saying and that I truly believe if we just keep making music and loook towards the future...not just of a future of fashion, but a fashion of future, than everything will be alright.

So without further ado, here are some costume ideas I'm working on for my Winter concert tour...

Do you have any costume ideas you'd like to share with me? Just send them too LadyGagaIsFashionable@gmail.com and I'll post them here soon!

God, Gays, and Trannys,

Lady Gaga

Invite a lady friend over, turn off the lights, and get into the mood. Or just listen to this by yourself and cry. Whatevs.

(via The Gregory Brothers)

If God was so smart, why did he design male genetalia to be 1) as low as it is and 2) totally unprotected. He gave turtles a hardshell and that animal is just about useless if you ask me. Humans created space shuttles, heavy metal music and Maury Povich. They should be protected, especially the itsty bitsy parts of them that makes babies. Such poor design decisions, God. If Steve Jobs was your boss you'd be totally fired.

Today, as Nancy Pelosi was walking somewhere and being important, a reporter following her totally crashed his balls into something that was not a Femaie Baby Incubator. Here's that video, and some others featuring guys who might not be able to get an erection anymore.

Reporter takes a dive. Woops.

We feel that the Japanese dudes featured in this video actually LOVE being hit in the crotch.

This guy's balls actually flew up through his stomach and out of his mouth, but you can't see it due to YouTube's crappy video quality.

Finally, these guys are true friends.