It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

Panic Bear is mighty scared of the Lion Cub! Watch his face fill with terror as the lion gets in his face!

See what happens when scientists from the Planet Shaka Khan perform their tests on Hollywood Legend Tom Cruise. The results are shocking, strange, and morally wrong.

The song "You Are So Beautiful" is so sweet and romantic, until you use it to score your nightmare horror show of a commercial from Planet Hell.

The Chinese Anti-Terror Squad is as nerdy as the Google Campus.

Find the difference between two photos and SAVE THE PLANET. Okay, not really.

In theaters 2-8-08. When hundreds of videotapes showing torture, murder and dismemberment are found in an abandoned house, they reveal a serial killer's decade-long reign of terror and become the most disturbing collection of evidence homicide detectives have ever seen.

The environment needs saving and that lazy Captain Planet isn't doing crap about it! So here come the MIT green cars… aww how cute.

Let's see how much you know about the creepiest guy on the planet since David Guest!

Nothing is more precious than the face of a child… as she is screaming in horror. Oh children, truly a gift.

Apparently horrifying outfits are *required* wear at the premier of Hairspray the movie. Liza legs did not disappoint.

Dear lord Michelle Marsh is running topless down the beach. If it were nearly any other woman on the planet, save Star Jones, it would be hot. But those "fun"-bags are like sacks of wet meat your step-dad is about to slug you with.

There is sadness on Planet Unicorn – but it's a good thing!

A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns – Planet Unicorn – unicorn planet!

He's the foxiest little double-agent on the planet! It's 00!

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

Terrorists go to jail, Robin Williams goes to rehab, and Heather Mills goes fence-hopping. Philip Norris has the stories… and photos of Suri?

See what happens when a midget alligator chases the faces of silly Japanese women.

Here's a movie trailer parody for the Stanley Kubrick film "The Shining." Instead of menacing, psychological terror, we get the gift of laughter.

What are you? Not that bitch, a total bitch, the biggest bitch on the planet? Take this quiz to find out.