Does it really matter to you if she looks like an alien?

And you can shove it where the sun don't shine.

If you don't get this guy a present, he'll forever stare at you from across the room.

Well, at least she's wearing underwear.

Salma Hayek shows you why you love her.

Big Brother ain't gonna get this sly birdy.

"Interesting" is the only way we could describe what you're looking at here. We don't want to offend the old lady.

...unless you want your ass to be poked.

...and you might want to play along.

Just rub her cold sores and she will grant you three wishes...

She's definitely less annoying when you can see half her boobs.

Just doing our job to let you know that you don't really matter.

Show the neighbors how annoying you are by putting one of these pumpkins on your doorstep for Halloween.

Don't walk in his path or he'll eat you.

Now you too can own the ZacBot, on sale now at Walgreens.

If you're going to lose money in the stock market, it helps to make your hands look as deadly as possible.

It's easy to dress like Sarah Palin if you're really hot.

Hayden, if there is anything you need done just tell us. We'll do anything for you, Meatloaf-style.

Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend (ex-girlfriend!?!) is happy she's hotter than you.

Photographers should really respect the "no boob zone."