Want to hook up with Jesus.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

The power of make-up.

Now shut up.

Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Okay, we like Lindsay Lohan again. SUE US.

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Christina: You have boobs. Show them.

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

The more she shows us her bubbly boobies.

Just put a meat bone in her hand and Sarah Jessica Parker looks just as sexy as Dee Snider in Twisted Sister. Here she is on the set of the new Sex & The City 2, during a flashback of sorts to the 80s, when she was uglier.

Her hips are like one of the 7 wonders of the world.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

According to every penis in the world, this lady won the best butt of 2009.