Shortly after this picture was taken, John McCain crapped his pants.

Check out Brooke's new implants. Two midgets are frolicking inside them.

We have no idea what Paz has acted in, and we don't really care. She's wearing a thong for crying out loud. That is all you need to know about her.

We can't figure out why the paparazzi would take a picture of Jeff Goldblum taking his shirt off and it looks like Jeff is wondering the same thing himself. Maybe it was a "Earth Girls Are Easy" fan.

It's hard work to have the biggest "asset" in Hollywood and Kim puts in the calories others won't. Chubby Chasers Unite!

Though it's not tough to figure out who wears the "pants" in the relationship, we can also deduce from this picture that Samantha holds the cigarettes.

Pure magic and glitter propelled the baseball out of her hand.

Here's hoping Kristen Bell never finds out where Hyde is or how wonderful cocaine makes you feel and spends her life innocent and signing autographs at comic book conventions.

Everyone laughs at her now but when that Quato she's holding inside of her pops its head out and holds the secrets to humanity's survival, she'll be the one laughing.

Seeing Pink and Bai Ling out together really makes it really hard to argue for intelligent design. You really think this is a part of a plan?

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon without a pre-nup, which means he presumably could steal this sweet Teen Choice Awards surfboard and like a bajillion dollars.

That large black device placed above her ample bottom is a microphone pack for her new reality show tentatively titled "I'm Slightly More Interesting When I'm In A Bikini".

Tony Romo, there is no way to have blue-icing make outs and a respectable NFL career, it's just not possible.

She's either working for Chris Hansen or Billy Ray has a much harder job than we imagined.

Hayden Panettiere strips out of her graduation gown on the set of I Love You, Beth Cooper.

There is no one working in TV today more respected for their ability to look crazy than Tyra Banks.

Timberlake witnessed Memphis' historic choke first hand, this is probably similar to the choke he had on the SATs when applying to Memphis, lucky the singing panned out.

Michael Bolton and Nicolette Sheridan's new ad for London Fog is really weird and disturbing but so are guys who wear London Fog jackets so it works.

They can take the booze out of the drunk but they can't take the fun out of the fun bags.

It took Will Ferrell's hairy chest to get Heidi Klum back into SI's swimsuit issue, whatever works!