This kid is totally luckly.

Kris Allen looks so happy to be the next Ruben Studdard.

According to every penis in the world, this lady won the best butt of 2009.

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

She wasn't even nominated, yet she still won. Cheers.

Jelena Jankovic won Tuesday in straight sets, 6-3, 6-2. Jelena is the 2 seed in the tournament but she's #1 in our hearts with that skirt.

Ana Ivanovic defeated Rossana De los rios in straight sets 6-1, 6-2. She also looks nice in a sports bra. That's called win, win ladies and gentlemen.

Lindsay Lohan probably will mimick Marilyn Monroe's life in every way, other than the respected film career, which Lohan has replaced with Razzie award winning film career.

This bar in New Lisbon, Wisc., believes that winners drink and losers pee.

… because we can’t let the terrorists win.

This is the best way to make sure the terrorists don’t win.

This Benz is diamond studded and cost over $5 million dollars. It belongs to Prince Waleed, an oil sheik. Bastards! The terrorists did win!

The creepy giant woman will win this staring contest nearly every time.

Here's a gallery of how celebrities have aged over the years. One thing's certain: Death always wins!

Rosie's leaving The View! It seems the Donald has won!!

Recently actress Penelope Cruz won an award for Best Boobs in Hollywood. Congrats, Penelope. Bravo.

If you use other maxi-pads, the terrorists have won.

She's flexible, he's amazed, I'm cracking the hell up. Everybody wins!

We all know strip club patrons are creepy (well, everyone ELSE is creepy) but this guy wins the Creepy Stare Awards.

We love playing tennis on Fire Island!