BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

These pictures of Audrina Partridge in Cabo seriously make me forget she doesn't have a brain.

We would do anything to have Supergirl's powers for a day. Is that so much to ask?

This is Ryan Seacrest as a kid, and as you can see, he still looks really gay.

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

Because she's awesome, Heather Graham didn't wear a bra to the UK Hangover premiere. For this we believe she is the greatest actress of our generation.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

Seriously, does Heather Graham age? She's looked the same for the past ten years. Good jeans or good doctor?

Is it still there, Geri?

Here's a leaked screen shot from one of Britney Spears' music videos. It's censored because her nipples aren't really that big a deal.

This is sexist because it's true.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

Remember Natalie Imbruglia? She sings that one song we forgot the name off? Well yeah, here she is. She had to wear a bikini to make people notice here again.

Is that Waldo or that dude from Rocky IV?

Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

OMG! Adam Lambert might be dating Shia The Beef! We always new Adam was gay!

No, you're not seeing things. Those are a bunch of Princess Leias being hot and awesome and hitting each other with pillows.

This is Demi Moore and now you don't have a boner for her.

You don't have to see this girl's face; it's busted. Instead, look at the ocean...the beach...that dude with the towel on his head. If you like, you can also look at Shauna's boobs.