Suri Cruise Has Something For You

Suri Cruise Has Something For You

And you can shove it where the sun don't shine.

 

Tom Cruise Tries To Fix It All With Bears

Tom Cruise Tries To Fix It All With Bears

Not even a stuff bear will make Suri happy about having Tom Cruise as a father.

 

Katie Holmes Is A Giant

Katie Holmes Is A Giant

Tom Cruise can almost walk under her legs.

 

Katie Holmes Turns On The Lights

Katie Holmes Turns On The Lights

Katie Holmes is simply excited because Tom Cruise isn't by her side.

 

Tom Cruise is Two Steps Above The Rest

Tom Cruise is Two Steps Above The Rest

For all you ladies with Maverick fantasies, this is why he was cast, pilots are tiny.

 

Dude Ass Pats Giselle

Dude Ass Pats Giselle

Tom Brady is watching you young man, he's watching you like the Jets in Cover-2.

 

The Real Tom Cruise

The Real Tom Cruise

Cyber skin removed, this is what Tom really looks like. No self respecting gay man should ever let himself get this fat. Queericide, it’s the only answer.

 

Uncle Tom's Toothpaste

Uncle Tom's Toothpaste

Wait a minute.. Who wants their teeth to get darker?

 

Suri Cruise - 20 Years Later

Suri Cruise - 20 Years Later

Tom Cruise and Katie "Robot" Holmes have used the power of Xenu to fast forward time to see what their beautiful baby girl will look like. My eyes… my eyes.

 

The Gays are Flaming Mad

The Gays are Flaming Mad

A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.

 

Tom Cruise is a Dancing Machine

Tom Cruise is a Dancing Machine

Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!

 

Motlëy Cruise

Motlëy Cruise

Vince Neil has a cruiseline called "Motley Cruise." I'm guessing it's for aging groupies and the Crüe fans who love them.

 

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