Say hello to Mischa Methface!!! Just wow.

I'm totally going to get myself a pair because I just really like to get down like a freak.

And by something we mean her chestickles.

This is probably not a good way to begin your quest for true love.

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

...the blood out of you!!! Watch out for her teeth...and her boyfriend from Sum 41. That dude will slap you if you mess with Avril!

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

Jenna used to be the hottest girl in the world. Then she got anorexic. And now she's pregnant, and possibly hot again. Maybe we just like pregnant chicks these days.

Send this to your friends when they're stoned. Trust us.

This is not Obama. He's an Indonesian journalist. He cannot provide change. He refuses to Yes your Can.

What a comeback. Now all she needs to do is find her brain and she'll finally be complete.

Don't you just want to eat him?

Sure, she looks like an idiot. But she has to have major balls to have her eyelids tattooed. Cat balls possibly…check above.

He will grow up to crush your brains.

If it's not, than you're not ready to hit the beach, either!

This is going to be such a bittersweet week. Take it in, guys. Take it in.

"Stop right there! I know I look like a nerd but I don't want anything to do with you!"

Nikki Cox used to be our #1 squeeze. Now she's the picture of death. Rollover the picture to see what we're talking about.

If this doesn't inspire you to lose some freaking weight, I don't know what will.

Use these photos to inspire yourself to get thin this New Year!