Britney Spears attempts to sell greedy consumers more useless crap, this time taking the form of her own perfume. We don't plan on speaking for everyone, but what woman wants to smell like Kevin Federline's crotch and Papst Blue Ribbon?

A man sized cell phone fell from the fumbling hands of a giant, crushing a car and killing two people. Ok truth time.. It's just a PR stunt for Motorola's new Razr 2.

Yeah, we make fun of her all the time for looking like a potato and we know its not her fault. However, when you bleach your hair blond you are just asking for it.

This grocer has obviously has not heard "Hollaback Girl". Gwen spells out the name of the mystery fruit many times.

What happens when you insert metal pins through your taint and attach them to a rope, all in order to pull a car for your friends? A wicked awesome time, that’s what!

This is the height of efficiency. There is nothing, short of giving birth, that could better demonstrate a complete control of time management.

Courtney Love is currently preparing for a zombie death match with Kurt over how she has ruined Nirvana's legacy one paycheck at a time.

She's a one-eyed, one-horned, really fat celebrity who might eat you. There comes a time when you should no longer be in love with your body. That time is now, Beth.

This one time at band camp, there was like sex everywhere. The G note was doing the A from behind. And the B-flat was blowing C.

Larry King took some time off his busy 'Where am I?" schedule to run through the park and conquer a marauding bench. You go Larry… you go.

Cameron Diaz took some time out of her busy day to throw some oranges at Ashton Kutcher… but who was she really thinking of…

So this is what those orcs from Lord of The Rings do in their spare time. That’s a lot of love to take in. If you look close, you can see one of their "One Rings" Eww!

Jessica Simpson's boobs are always poking around. At this point its like looking at your dads old porn. Yeah its ok when times are tough, but really… yawn.

Rihanna needs to spend less time under her umbrella and more time at the Dermatologist. You are rich, you have no excuses!

Suzanne Somers is practically a leather handbag at this point. She has spent more time under the UV lamps than a hotdog at the Kiwk-E-Mart.

Tom Cruise and Katie "Robot" Holmes have used the power of Xenu to fast forward time to see what their beautiful baby girl will look like. My eyes… my eyes.

In Russia, they love Vodka so much, that during times of peace, all guards carry AK-47'S made of Vodka Bottles. Drink up you commie bastards!

The creepy giant woman will win this staring contest nearly every time.

Next time you are unsure what electronic emotion your cat is trying to express, consult this guide and enjoy hours of fun.

Anna Ferris wrangled up enough free time on the set of her new movie, to pee on Rumer Willis. In all honesty, we have NO IDEA what is going on here.