I imagine this is what it's like when you reach the pearly gates. So close to perfection, but just far enough away to be out of reach. Oh, to dream.

Four girls posed for a hot MySpace booty shot. Look closely and you'll see the girl who will shoot them tomorrow after study hall.

Cheeky Charles makes the moves on a lady soldier. Oh, behave!

Oh, wait, whoops – Hold on, can we start over???

Does someone hear the ice cream man? Yeah, he's over there – run! Hurry, run! Oh– O NOES! HE MELTED!

A nice pearl necklace would really finish this piece off, and me as well. Oh my!

When Jordan was younger, her huge knockers were once slightly less vomit-inducing, and her face was slightly less wrecked. Oh how times have changed.

Eva Cavalli, sister of designer Roberto Cavalli, was working the runway when she had a fashion disaster! Good thing you were wearing knickers, Eva!

For oh so many reason, we love the world's greatest funny-lady. But reason #1 right now: she makes us jealous of this gorilla suit.

Oh, please, like you haven't seen these a thousand times before!

Oh no – someone fed Spot some PuppyCrack!

OH NO YOU DI'IN'T!!!

Oh, the irony!

Oh big deal, so Mischa's a pothead! It's not like she's a role model on the OC anymore!!

Oh, those clever boob-lovers! What will they think up next??

Oh, the beautiful gayness that is wrestling!

Ew, no he's not sexy. I'm shuddering as we speak.

His ears are weird looking – oh, wtf???

Guess what, Britney? Kevin's trying to get back together with you! "Oh NOOOOOO!!!"

What's sexier than a massive woman mouth-raping a tiny, tiny man? Not much, my friend.