Apparently they are too big for their own good! How nice!

Actually, you're not authorized to enter through the gate, but they don't care if you just walk up the stairs. It's an important gate.

There's a sinkhole in Mexico, and it's in Britney's ass. Too bad it couldn't suck up any of her cellulite (or crappy weave, for that matter).

I'm not sure who Michele Merkin is, she's some sort of model apparently. What I do know is that she's got a super name. And I love her for that.

Apparently losing enough weight to make you look like a crack-ho inspired Jenna to plump up her face with 5 gallons of collagen. Desperation takes its toll, Jenna....

Nicole is looking dangerously thin again lately, and I've heard through a celebrity "doctor" that her stomach is bloated from malnutrition! O NOOOO!

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

Creed front-douche Scott Stapp got arrested (again) when he came home high and threw an Orangina bottle at his wife. He also owns a lot of guns.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

While the paparazzi chased Paris as SHE was driving in her Bentley, they caught a glimpse into her window, texting Paris Latsis that she'd 'come by' after her lawyer meeting. She's gettin' some from a dude before she has to give it up to her bull-dyke cellmates!

A German ad company placed this "goatse"-eque ad over a pedestrian tunnel, because you shouldn't have to crawl up your boss' bum for a good job. Eww.

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

It's not easy being a mommy. Changing diapers, enforcing naptime, and having to hoist up your udders when oyu go out.

Rose hooked up with Robert Rodriguez during filming of Grindhouse. Rodriguez had been married to his wife for 16 years, and has 5 children with her. Sucks to be you, lady!

Kelly's plumped up of late, but that doesn't stop her from chatting up some chubby fans.

"The Fox" showed up at her DUI hearing looking as good as she ever has! (And not really that drunk)

I think this might be official evidence that she's given up.

When you need to air out your crotch, clean off the top of your Red Bull can.

Just say no. Or hit up the gym, once and a while, woman.

Madonna and hubby Guy Richie like to play dress-up to keep their sex life fresh.