Beth Ditto showed the the world her lady bits and ended up looking more like a black hole, sucking the life out of the room.

The horrendous atrocity that was the Britney Spears VMA performance can be summed up in this one image. Priceless.

Cameron Diaz took some time out of her busy day to throw some oranges at Ashton Kutcher… but who was she really thinking of…

What kind of coach would stick his hands down your shorts during a team picture!? … and where would one go to sign up for such a team?

Trying to smuggle nuts to Al-Qaeda? Don’t even think about it, or end up like this guy here! And now you know and knowing is half the battle!

Britney Spears is a witch. Only a level 8 Warlock with melee skills can change their eye color, its called a glamour. Look it up NEWB!

In Russia, they love Vodka so much, that during times of peace, all guards carry AK-47'S made of Vodka Bottles. Drink up you commie bastards!

Beth Ditto, the rock and glam queen flashed the crowd a bit of her pink frosted cinnabon. 250 people instantly developed diabetes and gave up sugar.

Further proof that midgets have more talent than merely dressing up as munchkins and dancing around for that damned Judy Garland.

Paris Hilton was violated as a hungry photog tried to snap a picture of her "ladyness". The pap, is now blind.

Anna Ferris wrangled up enough free time on the set of her new movie, to pee on Rumer Willis. In all honesty, we have NO IDEA what is going on here.

Fake boobs aren't the only things Heidi Montag recently acquired. She also picked up some sweet wizarding skills at Hogwart's.

Greasy Bear Davis showed up on the LA club scene with a bloody eye. Someone is learning their place.

Rosie O'Donnell has given up her angry tirades and buddied up with SeaWorld to replace Shamu.

Courtney Love is starting to channel her inner Muppet. She looks like a boozed up, coked out Janice. Too bad her husband is "Gonzo".

Katherine McPhee on the set of some movie lost a battle with the wind. Mother Nature wanted to see up her skirt.

Sit down on my lap, sweetie, and we'll talk about whatever pops up. Too late!

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.

Some coked-up jerk was being chased by the cops and tried to elude them by driving in loop-de-loops around this field. As you can imagine, this farmer wasn't pleased.

Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.