Apparently losing enough weight to make you look like a crack-ho inspired Jenna to plump up her face with 5 gallons of collagen. Desperation takes its toll, Jenna....

Nicole is looking dangerously thin again lately, and I've heard through a celebrity "doctor" that her stomach is bloated from malnutrition! O NOOOO!

Here's Mischa about to light up another doob. No wonder she sucks at driving, the girl's stoned all the time!

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

While the paparazzi chased Paris as SHE was driving in her Bentley, they caught a glimpse into her window, texting Paris Latsis that she'd 'come by' after her lawyer meeting. She's gettin' some from a dude before she has to give it up to her bull-dyke cellmates!

A German ad company placed this "goatse"-eque ad over a pedestrian tunnel, because you shouldn't have to crawl up your boss' bum for a good job. Eww.

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

It's not easy being a mommy. Changing diapers, enforcing naptime, and having to hoist up your udders when oyu go out.

Rose hooked up with Robert Rodriguez during filming of Grindhouse. Rodriguez had been married to his wife for 16 years, and has 5 children with her. Sucks to be you, lady!

Kelly's plumped up of late, but that doesn't stop her from chatting up some chubby fans.

"The Fox" showed up at her DUI hearing looking as good as she ever has! (And not really that drunk)

I think this might be official evidence that she's given up.

When you need to air out your crotch, clean off the top of your Red Bull can.

Just say no. Or hit up the gym, once and a while, woman.

Madonna and hubby Guy Richie like to play dress-up to keep their sex life fresh.

Frances Bean is currently going through that awkward teen phase, where should could end up beautiful like her father, or a bloated stripper-turned-celebrity-turned-tragedy like her mother. Only time will tell.

Rose McGowan showed up at a Oscars afterparty with some weird bandaid under her eye. Girl is looking rough!

Oh, those clever boob-lovers! What will they think up next??

What Would George W. Bush Do? This chart pretty much sums it up.

Britney left rehab this morning! One of her dancers apparently picked her up, less than 24 hours after she checked in.