Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

The fact that you can write a check on her butt doesn't mean you don't fantasize about her reject you.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

Her hips will check you and throw you to the ground.

We kid about Lohan all the time, but never about her sideboob. We always welcome it.

Dear Eliza, your ribs are showing. They remind us of the McDonald's McRib sandwich. Now we're hungry. Bye!

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

Somebody please warn Madonna that veins eventually explode after taking too many steroids. And her penis will shrink.

You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

Is that hair or just part of the bikini we're looking at? Confused.

But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.

We all hate PETA because they're just generally horrible and annoying. But if more of them looked like the above, we'd have reason to like them. And then bang them.

If you're even close to hot you should do what you can to get this costume and bring it to the Harry Potter premiere this week.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

We're suddenly turned on by the lazy, furry cat.

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

If you're wondering who Leighton Meester is, this is her. TMZ is reporting she has a sex tape that's being shopped around Hollywood. And it involves her feet. Sexy!

Somebody turn off the air conditioning! We've got a live one here!