It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.

Both of these Battlestar beauties can be found in the latest Maxim magazine, which we guess is still around and trying to make you horny.

Here are photos from January Jones' appearance in the latest GQ, a magazine we would have no interesting in buying if it wasn't for photos like these.

...is pretty funny.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

This is like the day I found out Santa wasn't real.

Sure she is hot. But she also dates Brody Jenner. That's why she's a douchebag.

And if you're nice she might even show you that she's wearing no panties.

Here's an alleged screen shot of the Jimmy Kimmel sex tape. It's okay if you don't believe it exists, because it probably doesn't. We hope it doesn't.

Never was there such a beauty in all the land. Lindsay Lohan, apple of our stinkeye.

You really have to think before you post. Never forget that, fools.

We just found the perfect pillow.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Christina: You have boobs. Show them.

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

Guys, don't be ashamed to buy the latest edition of Shape magazine. It's much easier to buy than Hustler.

Yes, she's one of our favorites. And yes, we don't know who that dude is standing next to her but we want to punch him in the face and steal Sophia away.

If you interrupt Barack during a session of congress he will slice off your hand.