Obama might be gay...at least according to the Globe, who we believe almost 100% of the time when we're really drunk.

For the ghetto minded.

(rollover the picture to reveal the shocking conclusion to this picture's title!)

Check out the new Michael Phelps Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

Check out the new Jessica Simpson Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

Check out the new Rihanna Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

If this girl gets any more hot she's gonna blow up -- the world! Hey ohhhhhh!

We knew there was something just weird and dark about this guy.

The editor of this newspaper has obviously never delivered a pizza to a 40-year-old woman's door and then proceeded to have sex with her.

The Westminster Dog Show is this week. And judging by this photo, it's also a time to for judges to totally abuse the crap out of cute defenseless puppies.

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.

Here's "Saved By The Bell's" Screech, aka Dustin Diamond, posing with his beloved He-Man figures. Once a dork, always a dork.

Brazilian model Sheyla Hershey supposedly has the biggest breasts in the world. They're triple KKK, which we didn't even know existed. You think these are hot?

We're not saying this is the most unfortunate dude alive, we're just saying that if we looked like this we'd most likely hate our parents.

The bra industry is really making strides in design these days.

Who would have known that underneath Chloe's disturbing lemon scowl there's actually a hot babe bursting at the seams. Despite Jay Leno ruining the picture, she's almost a 10.

And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

...the blood out of you!!! Watch out for her teeth...and her boyfriend from Sum 41. That dude will slap you if you mess with Avril!

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.