The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

We don't care if this is just an obvious ad for Pepsi. This is a photo of Kim Kardashian and we're required to post every picture of her.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

Obama might be gay...at least according to the Globe, who we believe almost 100% of the time when we're really drunk.

He fought for equality and now, video games.

How adorable. Tara Reid found a man with a stomach almost as disturbing has hers! Flabbiness 4evah!

Tara Reid's butt is making a comeback that nobody wanted.

Introducing the new Lara Croft! This former receptionist turned video game heroine will help promote the video game series by making gamers horny.

Vern Troyer played a little game of golf this week. Get it? A "little game of golf?" Yeah, we don't think we're funny either.

New from IKEA, The Kim Kardashian Booty Table, place one in the backyard and conveniently rest your drink on the ample derriere.

If drinking Dunkin' Donuts and wearing last year's Urban Outfitters fashions make you a terrorist America is in more trouble than we thought.

Everyone laughs at her now but when that Quato she's holding inside of her pops its head out and holds the secrets to humanity's survival, she'll be the one laughing.

I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.

There is nothing more inspiring than the perseverance Tara Reid displays every year in Cancun. She takes a beating and keeps on tickin', she'll never retire, unlike Brett Favre.

They can take the booze out of the drunk but they can't take the fun out of the fun bags.

Sometimes when you're applying the spray on you're drunk and decide the tan line beard look is in.

Probably not, it's probably just as worn out as her liver.

This bar in New Lisbon, Wisc., believes that winners drink and losers pee.