Proving once again that people are stupid and Google is awesome.

She must suck blood or something because those eyes definitely say "I'M NOT HUMAN. THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT ME."

Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

Somebody is playing tricks on Mr. Ray Charles!

For the ghetto minded.

...the blood out of you!!! Watch out for her teeth...and her boyfriend from Sum 41. That dude will slap you if you mess with Avril!

Wipe you're tears away, my friends. He's finally gone.

"My other bong is Sponge Bob."

Wouldn't it suck if she was really holding a pair of balls?

A daughter accidentally text messages her dad with some very awesome news.

Salma Hayek shows you why you love her.

Cute puppies make bad news better.

If you're going to lose money in the stock market, it helps to make your hands look as deadly as possible.

Some jobs really, really, really suck.

Even my mom knows this one.

"Oh hi, are you taking a picture of me? Sure is a weird time to take a picture of me, all awkwardly bent over, not smiling and such...oh you can see down my shirt? Wonderful."

It's like The Who 2.0 "Txtin About My Generation".

Thought meth made you skinny and scabby, not fat and flabby, oh well, still sucks to be you.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck wants to change the party's symbol from the elephant to My Little Pony.