I imagine this is what it's like when you reach the pearly gates. So close to perfection, but just far enough away to be out of reach. Oh, to dream.

Spider Lamb is currently away right now, but if you leave a message he will rush to your resuce when he has the time. SPIDER LAMB!

Mickey's eye's are slowly being shut by his plastic surgeon. It's for the best as his career quickly fades away.

Salma Hayek did an ad campaign for Campari spirits. She let her boobies do the talking.

That dumbass Mischa REALLY can't drive. First she got into a fender-bender with Nicole Richie's car, now this. Take away for keys!

These colors don't run. …Away from a fight.

Amy Winehouse may have alcoholism in her name, but she also has blow in her nose! When whiskey makes you fat, how does one keep in brillant shape? Snort away the pounds!

Lucy Lui at the 2007 Independent Spirit Awards.

Jordan was spotted recently in large bikini top and not-so-large bump. Her belly's going to have to really work it if it wants attention away from her boobs!

This is some sort of product for the Nintendo DS. And if an old greasy man tries to give it to you from his creepy van, RUN! RUN AWAY!!!!

This is the kinda technology that the paparazzi need. Turn into a camera, take some photos of Britney's crotch, then transform into a car and drive away when Linsday Lohan tries to hit you with her car.

The "EXIT" characters don't really feel that free when they're done, they're actually leaping away from the cockroaches.

You MUST stay away from this guys underwear.