Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!

Her name is Jennifer Ellison and I guess she's a big deal in England, probably because she has big boobs.

OMG the dudes from Metallica totally sold out. We're gonna go listen to the Jonas Brothers now.

Marilyn Manson actually looks normal without all that makeup. Although, we doubt he would be selling many CD's, looking like a WoW nerd.

Some random guy is selling his entire lifetime of video game systems and cartridges for a whopping $14,000. Maybe with all that money he can finally see what a vagina looks like.

Britney Spears attempts to sell greedy consumers more useless crap, this time taking the form of her own perfume. We don't plan on speaking for everyone, but what woman wants to smell like Kevin Federline's crotch and Papst Blue Ribbon?

Gisele is selling shoes or some shiz and this new ad is meant to catch your attention. One question, water is transparent, why can't we see the gooch?

What made Jennifer Lopez decide that this was the best outfit to showcase at the launch of her new clothing line? She looks like a fruit rollup or a tall oompa loompa.

Fergie is now selling handbags that are apparently are made out of Kilts… and is that piss on her pants… again!? Oh no.. It's just sweat.

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

Anne Hathaway is proof that milk does a body good. However, sucking on your boyfriend's hairy nipple isn't a strong selling point.

Britney got drunk and topless after shooting a "video". Her assistant arranged for her to make out with an extra. He sold the pictures to pay for the doctor's visit the next day.

When Hooters Air failed, they sold their fleer of planes to an old-people nudist resort. Then some creep took a photo.

A local L.A. bakery is selling "Paris Visitor's Cakes" – muffins with a fake nailfile through the middle! That hot!

Johnny hit the jackpot this summer when he realized he could fill freezer bags with grass-clippings and make a fortune selling weed to Jr. High kids.

The U.S. Mint actually made REAL quarters featuring the Silver Surfer, from the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. It's amazing how sold out our country can get.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

For some god-awful reason, K-Mart sells bacon. Maybe because they have to do SOMETHING with all the extra back-fat from the morbidly obese pigs they employ.

Salma Hayek did an ad campaign for Campari spirits. She let her boobies do the talking.

Britney's CD is selling so badly, she had to help out by buying one herself!