This guy is going to get so much ass tonight! Oh, he just threw up on himself? LIGHTNING ROUND!

Now this is a school! Forget to do your homework? Not a problem. Apparently all you have to do is go down on the teacher and INSTANT A! They don’t even seem shy about this policy either.

Ok so she isn't famous, but her husband is. If this woman gets any bigger her breasts are going to pop off. Great to have much naked fun time in America!

Chairy, the loveable and slightly obese furniture from the Pee Wee Herman show, was found discarded a few months ago. It just goes to show you, human or furniture, no one likes a fat girl. Tear.

We applaud a woman who goes outside with no make up, but we would applaud you more if you brought along some sort of mask, or peper spray for our eyes.

"I hate our house kids, lets move out of this run down shat shack. No just leave it, go go go!"

Chris Crocker is going to rape the hell out of his 15 minutes of fame. It takes a lot of public affection to be commemorated in paint!

Computer nerds around the world go from floppy (disk drive) to hard (disk drive) when they see this beauty roll down the street.

Brits will pay $1,500 for a new sport stiletto designed by failed artists at Fisher Price. Designed for the Socialite on the go, this shoe is sure to scream "Special Olympics".

Larry King took some time off his busy 'Where am I?" schedule to run through the park and conquer a marauding bench. You go Larry… you go.

Tyra Banks has gone crazy. Either she has hired David LaChapelle for her new photo shoot or she is trying to bring back Alien Nation, the TV show.

What kind of coach would stick his hands down your shorts during a team picture!? … and where would one go to sign up for such a team?

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

These little women are going out to shop in the Shire.

"K-Fed" is just so cool. It takes a whole new level of pure awesomeness to bring back late 90's gang signs. Their kids are going to be so real, ya'll.

The Alien vs. Predator sequel is going to totally suck. Alien has turned into a wussy vegetarian salad.

For Lindsay Lohan, rehab is a tradition like Thanksgiving dinner with the family . Part of the tradition is going for a bike ride and reminding everyone she has big boobs.

Anna Ferris wrangled up enough free time on the set of her new movie, to pee on Rumer Willis. In all honesty, we have NO IDEA what is going on here.

Amy Winehouse's only hit song is now merely ironic. Obvious jokes aside, hopefully she reconsiders that hairdo as well.

Jameson has either gone on the South Bronx Parasite Diet or she is getting prepared to play Skeletor in the HeMan Movie.