It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

Wipe you're tears away, my friends. He's finally gone.

This is going to be such a bittersweet week. Take it in, guys. Take it in.

Believe it or not, they're related. Is how Jessica Alba's going to look when she's 50. Hopefully not.

When you reach a certain age, things start falling apart. Jenny, we're going to miss you.

And the baby's first words are going to be "Wha Whaaaa!" Hey oh!

What's the point of a calendar filled with boobs? It's not like you're going to be looking at the dates anyway. You're going to be looking at the boobs. Just take the dates away and leave the boobs.

Due to our minds being blown by this photo, we cannot come up with a proper description.

Here's a first look at porn star Lisa Ann. She's going to be playing Sarah Palin in the Hustler porno about the VP candidate. Schwing!

If you're going to lose money in the stock market, it helps to make your hands look as deadly as possible.

Not the most sexy picture of Kim Kardashian, especially with all that farting going on.

OMG the dudes from Metallica totally sold out. We're gonna go listen to the Jonas Brothers now.

"You wanna bump? Let's go!"

We don't believe in bras either.

Audrina's new boyfriend makes us go W.T.F.

Presumably someone with little or no computer experience could probably make these photos go from suggestive to explicit.

Blake Lively in a bikini is proof positive that Gossip Girl needs to be set somewhere tropical if we're ever going to watch. Oh, and Hi Maria Menounos!

Seriously, if you think she's hot, go to Denny's, pick up a girl eating a grand slam, dress her up in fancy clothes, and enjoy.

One day you're with Joe Francis on a bus, the next you're getting paid to blow the Governor of New York, it's a slippery slope.

She loves to get paid for sex or things relating to sex.