Rose McGowan showed up at a Oscars afterparty with some weird bandaid under her eye. Girl is looking rough!

This is no laughing matter, Brit-Brit! You done lost yo' damn marbles, girl!

Holly Madison has probably had some plastic surgery. Just sayin'.

Sienna Miller's sugar-nubs were spotted at the beach while she kissed her boyfriend. Sexy!

This hot, pants-less 18-year-old model recently died of a heart attack. Seriously, all the sexy skinny chicks are croaking!

Sexy Alyssa at the beach.

Ashley Olsen prancing around, wearing nothing but an undershirt and panties. Sexy!

Ashley Olsen prancing around, wearing nothing but an undershirt and panties. Sexy!

Ashley Olsen prancing around, wearing nothing but an undershirt and panties. Sexy!

Brit-Brit was seen out partying again in New York, this time squeezing into a "sexy" red dress.

Figure skater Oksana Baiul at the Playboy SuperBowl party looks like a crappy underwear ad from the 70s.

Ew, no he's not sexy. I'm shuddering as we speak.

Petra Nem-cova your nips, girl!

I don't know what this means but it sounds both sexy and delicious!

Mena Suvari, the girl from American Beauty that DIDN'T have huge boobs, decided to got topless at the beach recently. But she put these Liquid Generation pasties on right before we took these photos.

But the awesome part is, those girls were still REALLY impressed.

What's sexier than a massive woman mouth-raping a tiny, tiny man? Not much, my friend.

Watch out! Now that Nicole's off the food wagon, you'd best not get between ol' girl and her salads!

This first thing I thought when I first saw the pink iPod was, "wow, if this could only be used by girls to masturbate." Little did I know.

Izabel Goulart is French for "sexy sexy ooh la la."