His friends said she kind of looked like a horse, but he didn't know what they were talking about.

We really have no idea who Kelly Brook is. But does it matter? She's English, has a rocking body and for a Londoner, she has perfect teeth. An amazing combination.

Basement Horse is always watching you.

The fact that you can even acquire a dress with Bambi's spewing blood all over the place is only slightly less disturbing than actually wearing it, rock on Lily!

It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.

From 3rd Rock to blinding Claudia Schiffer in lingerie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has an awesome agent. He definitely does not deserve this.

Chris Rock was caught taking a none too subtle look at Rhianna's back side.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

"So how is that rocking acting career coming along? Oh yeah, really? Umm yeah, you know what, I will have the Steak, thanks".

Jesus could walk on water, so what? We have yet to see a picture of Jesus performing any miracles while rocking a cool pair of board shorts.

Jessica Simpson looks like a dumb Muppet from Fraggle Rock. All she is missing is a dunce cap and a catchy song about dyslexia.

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

Beth Ditto, the rock and glam queen flashed the crowd a bit of her pink frosted cinnabon. 250 people instantly developed diabetes and gave up sugar.

Britney Spears has truly hit rock bottom. Chris Angel? You don't need him to make your career vanish, that’s what you're for.

Some zoological geniuses cross-bred a zebra and a horse. Now if they can just get it to mate with a unicorn, I can finally die happy.

This life-like horse sculpture is made entirely out of driftwood! Beautiful, majestic, and safe from becoming dog food!

Dina Lohan sure did look different when Lindsay was a baby... It must have been before the de-horse-ifying surgery.

Girlfriend really needs a new hairdresser! Whoever told her that inch-long peach fuzz was enough to knot a bunch of bleached horse hair to was SERIOUSLY wiggin, yo.

Jared Leto got fat for his role as John Lennon's killer. Then he got skinny for his roll as rock music killer. Because he's a douche.

Anna Nicole Smith died in a south Florida hotel, after collapsing in her room at the Hard Rock Hotel in Hollywood, FL. Rest in peace, Crazy Lady.