The Guiness Book of World Records claims China's Xi Shun is the world's tallest man at 7' 9" -- but he's actually just seven feet tall. The extra nine inches is for the ladies!

Short text$3,625 a month for rent? Jeez, K-dawg, where were you staying?

I'm sure this does wonders for his sperm count. …Not like he should be reproducing, anyway.

In case of fire, do not use elevator, use spiral slide.

...But train seats are great for lap-dancing!

She was just looking for change after we dropped a quarter down her crack.

Later this night, Paris Hilton arrested herself for drunk driving.

She may style Lindsay and Nicole, but the drapes she has for a face certainly need to be ironed out!

You'll love our Roll-Back prices! Discounted for her pleasure!

A great place for some cheap action!

A simple, desperate plea for mercy from a helpless sign-letterer.

Ronald McDonald gets arrested for molesting a Happy Meal. How sad.

This is Jean-Paul Gaultier's lingerie for today's healthier eaters!

He makes for the cutest boss ever!

This chick is a little too fat for those crazy Japanese girl styles!

Where is the score card for the old lady in a wheel chair?

Oh damn! No thongs on the beach! What are we to wear!

See what happens when you don't have enough money for IKEA.

For some reason this fat viking chick is really turning us on. Or maybe it's her sexy bicycle!?!

Nothing is better for lunch than a little crack in your sandwich! Deeeelicious!