Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

If you have to wear a bathing suit this summer, make sure you have boobs.

Damn. What happened to Kelly Clarkson? Looks like she's gonna chock on a ham sandwich some day.

Is that a penis or alien growing out of Kelly Ripa's stomach? Please, let us know, at it will help decide how hard we want to hurl.

Real Housewife from New York cast member Kelly Bensimon has a boob job so bad the boobs are trying to hide for cover.

We really have no idea who Kelly Brook is. But does it matter? She's English, has a rocking body and for a Londoner, she has perfect teeth. An amazing combination.

Kelly Clarkson could not be reached for comment.

The Los Angeles Board of Health clearly graded Kelly's ass Grade A.

Billy Zane is about to secure Kelly Brook with the dreaded scissor hold.

Lauryn Hill has apparently become crazier by the day. What better way to celebrate freedom from the doldrums of society than hiring Lauryn the Clown for your special event!

In case you were wondering, Kelly Brook has HUGE, NATURAL boobies. You're welcome.

Christina Aguilera is still swamped with rumors that she's three months pregnant, but one thing is for sure: she wants to get into acting! She's reading scripts; hopefully they're better than "Glitter," "Crossroads," and "From Justin to Kelly."

Kelly Ripa rode the mechanical bull... and looked hot doing it!

Kelly's plumped up of late, but that doesn't stop her from chatting up some chubby fans.

These two make a fug-fabulous couple! Who's got the flask?

Kelly Brook looks good in a bikini. Just sayin'.

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.

I really do idolize her. Especially her puppets.

Oh those hilarious soldiers! Catch them this Friday at the Funnybone Comedy Club in Rotterdam, NY!