We are assuming that is a 9 out of 300.

This grocer has obviously has not heard "Hollaback Girl". Gwen spells out the name of the mystery fruit many times.

Chris Crocker is going to rape the hell out of his 15 minutes of fame. It takes a lot of public affection to be commemorated in paint!

Lindsay Lohan has either been working out in rehab, or hiding coke in her trunk. Skinny drug addict white girls don’t have butts like this. We smell trouble!

Demi Moore is in her 40's and she still looks 25! She obviously drinks unborn children out of the Cup Of Christ. She has chosen Wisely!

Leaving her Hotel room this week, Madonna was spotted walking out with a Sex Toy. Now we know Guy Ritchie can satisfy neither his wife or film critics.

Beth Ditto showed the the world her lady bits and ended up looking more like a black hole, sucking the life out of the room.

Cameron Diaz took some time out of her busy day to throw some oranges at Ashton Kutcher… but who was she really thinking of…

Maggie Gyllenhaal is the cover girl for some lingerie company. Check out the picture and submit your best "her nose looks like Ms. Piggy" joke. We couldn't decide.

Fergie is now selling handbags that are apparently are made out of Kilts… and is that piss on her pants… again!? Oh no.. It's just sweat.

It seems all that David Beckham can do on the field is injure himself. Again, he will be out for another 6 weeks due to a torn ligament. Robot Posh is pissed.

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

Bush is literally a butt hole, or to be more precise… many butt holes. Check out this pic of the President made of many tiny little stinkers. Did he just wink at me?

Jenna and her Ogre of a boyfriend where caught making out at a local nightclub. Or he was eating her whole, who knows.

"I have such a busy day ahead of me, I have to get these groceries home before they thaw out"

An ex-Hollywood publicist leaked out news that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and has been with a boyfriend for years. Wait, the guy from Brokeback Mountain? You lie!

It's one thing to have a thing for older chicks but to be checking out the ass of some sculpture of an elderly Hobbit lady. That is creepy.

These little women are going out to shop in the Shire.

A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.

"OK so get this officer, I was chasing a burglar out of my house, right? Then my pants just shot off into the street and he pulled out a gun, I got scared and I..."