Mariah Carey's slated to be on the March cover of Playboy. Who got paid more, Mariah, or the photo-retoucher?

Yeah, Ice-T's wife just doesn't stop! Try wearing a thong or somethin'!

Jesse Jane was "Best Dressed" on the red carpet at the AVNs. If you think this isn't a big deal, you obviously haven't seen the way most porn stars dress!!

Obviously this is a novelty item, because the idea is that someone would walk into your bedroom and think, at first, that you and your heterosexual partner were lying there naked. ...Or it just might be for fat people that don't want to look gross when they're naked. Yeah.

Dead or Alive rocker-turned-plastic tranny freak Pete Burns is suing the plastic surgeon that destroyed his lips in an attempt to correct the over-done airbags that they'd become.

The "Brief Safe" can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. These specially-designed briefs contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro® closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them — wouldn't you?

Is that a white residue better known for lining the nostrils of Hollywood's biggest partiers? Or are we just jerks?

This was my favorite place to vacation as a child.

Dear lord! Lil' Kim's going back to her "all-natural" roots by either growing out her eyebrows, or filling them in with Crayon!

Believe it or not, this costume is entirely homemade.

The star of the new reality TV series, "Flavor of Legos."

In this photo released by the Glendale Police Department, Nicole Richie's booking mug shot is seen after her arrest early Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, in Glendale, Calif. California Highway Patrol officers took the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

The kid with the camera has bigger boobs than her. Sad or awkward?

Is Fabiola wearing lingerie, or is IT wearing HER? Ha!

Save your files with the nerdiest thumb drives evar!

Does this spread reveal her sense of humor? Or just her sense of whore?

We also want freedom, but whatevs.

I'd like to blow up HER Death Star! Knowhadimsayin? Knowhadimsayin?

I dunno if this is an elf costume or a cupid-bear or a doggy Robin Hood, but it's so frickin' adorable my eyes are bleeding.

The good news is, he's sponsored by Visine!