"Ma'm are you aware that your crotch is starring at me? And why do the curtains not match the carpet?"

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

Pop star Pink peed in public and a pap popped the pic. Padow!

Sit down on my lap, sweetie, and we'll talk about whatever pops up. Too late!

This is a shot from an upcoming workout video starring Lisa Rinna. The perfect gift for aging cougars who need a boost to their physical self-esteem.

...Yr welkum, teenz!

Maria Menounos got a Hollywood star or something – I don't remember because she wasn't wearing a bra!

Recently the bloated princess of pop vacationed from her busy 15-minute lip-sync concert tour and headed off to Mexico. Apparently she thought "South of the Border" meant it was okay to show off her cheesy gordita ass in a thong.

This horrified little baby is yet another victim of a knitting-needle wielding Star Wars fan.

Yeah those things look borderline painful. Let's hope her daddy wasn't around to catch a glimpse at those incest-tempters.

Here's a question: Was Al Reynolds gay before he married Star? Or did he just turn gay? (See picture)

The new issue of Star magazine features celeb nannies and the strongly-denied affair between Carmen Electra and Joan Jett.

Hollywood's Drug Problem. Bad for young jonesing starlets… good for Star Jones!

The STAR is claiming Ellen's gal pal Portia is back on the eating disorder wagon, as she started to get suspiciously skinner again!

Jesse Jane was "Best Dressed" on the red carpet at the AVNs. If you think this isn't a big deal, you obviously haven't seen the way most porn stars dress!!

The star of the new reality TV series, "Flavor of Legos."

In this photo released by the Glendale Police Department, Nicole Richie's booking mug shot is seen after her arrest early Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, in Glendale, Calif. California Highway Patrol officers took the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

Save your files with the nerdiest thumb drives evar!

I'd like to blow up HER Death Star! Knowhadimsayin? Knowhadimsayin?

The good news is, he's sponsored by Visine!