Billy Zane is about to secure Kelly Brook with the dreaded scissor hold.

Kanye West and Beyonce can play a mean game of Connect Four which is probably more than you can say for Dr. Jan Adams.

When 1 minute is just too much time to wait, feel free to shoot yourself. No toast for you.

S&M cage with penis opening? I have no idea… I just grab the pictures.

Rugby players are crazy. Why play a sport where you get the crap beat out of you, when you can stay at home and jerk off?

An Iron Man made of Legos, OK… so it's not that cool. We are just glad Ben Affleck is playing him in the movie.

People who play Halo don't have sex… this is a waste of Bungie capital. As a stockholder, I say "Boo".

Can you imagine masturbating with this hand? After all, It's not gay if it's YOUR finger.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

Ashanti's sister is just as beautiful as her luscious self. Not bad for a woman with her own isle at the supermarket.

With all the nasty ass crap that lesbians are doing with each other these days, it's a surprise heterosexual men have not been phased out.

Santa knows when you are good or bad and he likes the later most. In fact, tie yourself up and put these cuffs on, Santa Claus is coming to town.

The Dalorean is coming back on the market and who wouldn’t want to outfit their new car with a Flux Capacitor!? Oh yeah, us poor people.

The Japanese are obsessed with crap and piss, this is no joke. This ad is supposed to remind people where pollution comes from and that they're a culture obsessed with crap.

With these wigs, I can finally steal those North Korean nuclear plans!

Cats with two heads mean twice the feeding times, but double the cuddle. Unless of course it’s a pissy ass cat… then its twice the eye scratching.

Oddly enough, Brody looks better with the weird features. Albeit, not by much.

This is a new form of sexual role play, known as boy torture. It looks like a blond Xena has taken over a small village of Cambodian farmers.

The Spice girls continue their "comeback" tour and started it off with a lip-sync spectacular this weekend. Posh didn’t even sing, she just stood there and looked like an alien.

Penis rims? Who wouldn’t want their car decorated with dicks?