It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

Adam Lambert uses more coverup than every tranny on the earth combined.

By smoking a joint, what did you expect her to plant a tree and drive a hybrid?

We can't figure out why the paparazzi would take a picture of Jeff Goldblum taking his shirt off and it looks like Jeff is wondering the same thing himself. Maybe it was a "Earth Girls Are Easy" fan.

From William Goldman to Diablo Cody you've come a long way screenwriters. How on Earth did you get studios to pay you when she is the "best" of the year?

The environment needs saving and that lazy Captain Planet isn't doing crap about it! So here come the MIT green cars… aww how cute.

Don't worry everyone, that's biofuel she is using. The Earth will be fine.

Ecologists' and green enthusiasts have developed a earth friendly habitat that hangs softly from the trees, connecting you to nature. You know what else hangs? Dez Nuts.

The Japanese are truly the greatest people on Earth!

We'd scream too if we thought John Travolta from Battlefield Earth was holding us.

Funny looking people are the happiest people on earth.