For all the right reasons.

As pissed as she looks, I hope she still autographed the picture.

You know your night is gonna be crazy, when you hook up with this chick.

How was your weekend?

Uhhhhhhhhh?

But she wants to spit in your face first.

If you interrupt Barack during a session of congress he will slice off your hand.

This little iPhone app will convert your texts into supper annoying Kanye texts.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Justin Timberlake has a nice rack. I bet his ass is pretty awesome, too.

Doesn't he look like that old chick from Driving Miss Daisy? Yes he does!

Dear Eliza, your ribs are showing. They remind us of the McDonald's McRib sandwich. Now we're hungry. Bye!

A little bit too much Viagra, Mr. Dole?

This is what happens when you shoot your child out of a cannon and onto a Slip N' Slide. Failtastic!

This Gossip Girl surely knows what to do to be famous: show your panties. Just like Britney, Xtina, and every other slutsicle, Taylor knows how to get our attention.

Imagine walking into your office and seeing this. What would you do? Masturbate or run away as far as you can?

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

Kara, why did you hide what's underneath your clothes throughout the whole season? We find you a lot less annoying and totally pointless now.