BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

These pictures of Audrina Partridge in Cabo seriously make me forget she doesn't have a brain.

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

Because she's awesome, Heather Graham didn't wear a bra to the UK Hangover premiere. For this we believe she is the greatest actress of our generation.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

Here's a leaked screen shot from one of Britney Spears' music videos. It's censored because her nipples aren't really that big a deal.

No, you're not seeing things. Those are a bunch of Princess Leias being hot and awesome and hitting each other with pillows.

If you wear this at the dinner table your parents will smack the crap out of you. FYI!

It's funny because it's true. And you're a loser.

We don't care if this is just an obvious ad for Pepsi. This is a photo of Kim Kardashian and we're required to post every picture of her.

According to every penis in the world, this lady won the best butt of 2009.

Is that a penis or alien growing out of Kelly Ripa's stomach? Please, let us know, at it will help decide how hard we want to hurl.

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

Here's Larry Wachowski, the director of The Matrix. His name is now Lana and he wears your mom's underwear.

Is Lindsay Lohan attractive anymore? It looks like the skin is melting off her body and she has the ass of an old man. And what's with her Calvin impression? It's just kinda gross.

We'd love to skateboard on this if only to a rim job of the rails on a half pipe. (wait...we're trying to talk Sk8r. Did that make any sense?)

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

Rupert Everett allegedly got a face lift. Or two or five of them.

Celebrities! They're just like us - stupid sometimes! Here's a recent pic of Kim. She says she fell asleep in the sun with giant glasses on. LOLs.

See, this is the reason why Obama is so awesome.