An average of 11 people per theater when to see Paris' new movie this weekend. Those people were tricked by her Oompa Loompa PR man.

Sylar and Peter Petrelli can't compete with the power of Claire Bennett's two growing "superheroes".

Reports of Paris being a lesbian are false, she's only into her own lady bits.

Ultimate Warrior fans the world around can rejoice at the site of Hulk Hogan utterly depressed at Mardi Gras.

Most of Texas blames Jessica Simpson for the Cowboys demise and wearing their hat before the Super Bowl is salt in the wounds.

The back of the Camel Toe Recovery truck says "We'll dig you out", does it really take a truck?

It kind of makes sense why some people don't believe in evolution, is this progress??

Since it has literally become unthinkable that people will ever feel sympathy and "Leave Britney Alone", think of the poor dog that has to live through this.

Most people will make a joke about how she "needs a piece of that cake", we'll go instead with "Porn retirement never tasted so sweet". We respect her right to starve.

You will inevitably feel creepy for looking at this picture of Hannah Montana, however, not as creepy as the kid who tried to hijack a plane and crash it into her concert yesterday. True Story!

Lindsay's education at rehab didn't end with Drugs=Bad, she also went to the second level course Panties=Respectable(kind of).

Realistically this will provide a slightly more sanitary option than her old method of pissing her pants on stage.

No it's not a comic strip of an alien taking over a body. These are actual cues of who to give your seat up to on the the subway.

This is the one piece of anatomy they don't cover enough on Grey's Anatomy, nipples!

Pretty sure the "Oh well I'm just a ditzy blonde" excuse doesn't apply to smoking meth out of a light bulb but it's worth a shot!

These are real titles of the History Channel's "Modern Marvels" series. Everyone knows cavemen had no "sticky stuff".

This woman married her husband in one of the famous Charmin public restrooms in New York and yes… that dress is made from toilet paper.

Remember those pictures of her unfavorable backside? Well it seems Jennifer Love Hewitt's two best friends had something to say about that on the red carpet last night.

If you were to look into a Britney Spears crystal ball it most likely would show this. Everyone knows Oompa Loompas are more supportive than Lynne Spears.

Britney may have had an "episode" last night but Hillary Clinton isn't feeling too good either after millions of dollars and being nice to Bill only gave her 3rd place.