Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

I think she should just slap an eyepatch on that and get herself some pirate street-cred.

Even cartoons can have wonky eyes.

Paris Hilton donned this ensemble willingly. Shudder.

Paris doesn't wear bras, that part is certain.

Paris Hilton was spotted washing off at a Bondi Beach outdoor shower recently. Those onlookers' expressions are priceless.

Paris parties with her mud flaps flappin'. GROSS!

After a recent singing performance at PURE nightclub in Las Vegas, Paris got pelted in the face with an ice cube! That's hot!

There's a first. Paris acting like a drunken slut. Again.

Looks like Paris's wonky lazy eye gets kicked into overhaul when she's wasted! These are real before-and-after photos of her recent night out at Teddy's.

Now I KNOW this has to be a fake photo -- they're BOTH eating, at the same time??

Paris & Nikki got frisky and weird in their limo over the weekend. Eww, bitches, you're SISTERS!

Paris, Lindsay and Britney are the "Three Disgraces" - like Greek mythology for the celebutard set.

"Here, honeyyyyyy, you nip's slipping out a littlllllle. Lemme just cover it ith my haaaaaand. We're hot even when we're waaasteeed."

Friends poop alike.

"I'm Paris Hilton and I can do whatever I want… including walking my wasted friend out of my house at 6am in clothes I lent her so she didn't have to do the Walk of Shame in front of all these papparazzi."

The Japanese are truly the greatest people on Earth!

"The Art of War"? This is totally a fake photo!

Later this night, Paris Hilton arrested herself for drunk driving.

Short textParis really knows how to dance -- and act like a drunk, pantsless whore!