Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

Paris doesn't need a bra for support, when she's got God and the good book on her side!

She's like a 13-year-old girl who cuts out words and pictures from tampon ads in women's magazines to express her emotions. God she's stupid.

Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!

While the paparazzi chased Paris as SHE was driving in her Bentley, they caught a glimpse into her window, texting Paris Latsis that she'd 'come by' after her lawyer meeting. She's gettin' some from a dude before she has to give it up to her bull-dyke cellmates!

Paris Hilton constantly inspires art. That's why someone made a wax rendition of her in the middle of a suicide attempt. That won't get you out of prison, Paris!!

Even the wind is against Ms. Hilton as she leaves a courthouse appearance. Remember, Paris, behind bars you only get two pairs of undies per week!

Paris Hilton got sentenced to 45 days in jail! YAY!!!!

Seriously, we get it, you've got some amazing new bra that you're trying to create a buzz around. Super. Now make yourself useful and become Volvo airbags.

Not the first time, probably not the last.

Oh, please, like you haven't seen these a thousand times before!

Paris has huge boobs now! When exactly did this happen? How does she pull this off? Why can't I stop looking at them??

The jury is out for some, but for those of us who've been following the recent growth of the celebutard's lady-pillows, I think she's gotten something done.

Ever-freaky Courtney Love looks like a bloated, exploding French maid. Even Paris looks normal next to her.

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded!

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded!

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded! Anyone think she looks like an old hag??

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded!

Seriously, you know you're awesome when you're partying with midgets. My friends had better take note: I want midgets at my birthday party!

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis, larger brother of Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, attended Paris Hilton's recent birthday bash in Vegas. It appears as though he pissed himself, as well!