Toe or no toe she does not look hot. The only people who would tell a girl this is a good look is another girl or a guy who is about to sex said girl.

There's a catch, they used tape and a guitar to cover the nasty bits so you're eyes wouldn't be as scared as Amy's arm after a night with Blake and crack.

She loves to get paid for sex or things relating to sex.

She's totally egging Perez Hilton on with that face.

An average of 11 people per theater when to see Paris' new movie this weekend. Those people were tricked by her Oompa Loompa PR man.

Reports of Paris being a lesbian are false, she's only into her own lady bits.

A picture that is worth a thousand words maybe but definitely not worth your 9 bucks at the theater. How does Sarah Jessica Parker stay uglier than her clothes? It seems impossible.

This picture was made for Perez Hilton's automated draw splooge around the mouth machine.

John Rambo kills everyone and has sex with no one.

Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.

This is the closest most of you will ever come to sex, enjoy it.

People who play Halo don't have sex… this is a waste of Bungie capital. As a stockholder, I say "Boo".

Oh Paris, that stunning shade of "Recently gave a blow job" red really accents your smile… and the fact that you're an idiot.

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."

We are not quite sure what this is, but its somewhat cute and incapable of running away. The excellent pet for your favorite Socialite.

Puts a whole new spin on the term "Blood Diamonds"… menstruations jokes too tacky?

Candy Flavored sex toys are nothing new, but this is the first time you can stick candy corn up your corn hole.

Amanda Lepore, some sort of tranny, spilled its breasts during a recent red carpet walk. Sex is officially ruined.

This Halloween you can go as some dumb ass "sluty fairy", which we all know is just an excuse to act like a whore, or you can go as Wacko Jacko! Look at them eyes!

This guy is going to get so much ass tonight! Oh, he just threw up on himself? LIGHTNING ROUND!