Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

Ana Ivanovic defeated Rossana De los rios in straight sets 6-1, 6-2. She also looks nice in a sports bra. That's called win, win ladies and gentlemen.

Is it possible to give her the Oscar for "Best Actress Who Made Oneself Ugly" now so we don't have listen to her all year about how "hard" this was.

From William Goldman to Diablo Cody you've come a long way screenwriters. How on Earth did you get studios to pay you when she is the "best" of the year?

Posing as a car seat won't get you across the border. Everyone knows that Mexican's are far too good a worker to be caught sitting for so long.

La Toya Jackson has finally obliterated any last ounce of estrogen in her body, she is now a he beast. Or, Eddie Murphy's latest girlfriend in a desperate attempt to disprove the gay tranny escapade.

Carrot Top is the physical specimen of de-evolution. Seriously? His shoulder muscles are like L brackets! He is like a walking Chuckie doll.

Greasy Bear Davis showed up on the LA club scene with a bloody eye. Someone is learning their place.

Some coked-up jerk was being chased by the cops and tried to elude them by driving in loop-de-loops around this field. As you can imagine, this farmer wasn't pleased.

A local L.A. bakery is selling "Paris Visitor's Cakes" – muffins with a fake nailfile through the middle! That hot!

Dina Lohan sure did look different when Lindsay was a baby... It must have been before the de-horse-ifying surgery.

The couple that parties together, eventually will have to enter rehab together. Welcome to L.A., Beckhams!!

Fergie was TOO DRUNK TO FLY the other day when she tried to board a flight to L.A. from London. They wouldn't let her on, and she was falling over. (We presume she was sober enough when she did this Maxim shoot)

DO NOT ACCUSE LOHAN OF DRUNK DRIVING. She will zap you.

When you're playing a stripper in a movie, you gotta do your homework. Lindsay Lohan seen leaving a stripper dance class in LA.

LeeLee Sobieski looked hot at the Oscars Vanity Fair party.

For some reason I can't find more photos of Courtney at this Oscars after-party. Help! Need more photographic evidence of crazy!

Halle Berry looked radiant at the Oscars!

Rose McGowan showed up at a Oscars afterparty with some weird bandaid under her eye. Girl is looking rough!

Jessica Biel doesn't need a bra – she's OUR best "supporting" actress!